PAINTINGS

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The Disintegration of Inspiration

Acrylic on wood :: 50 x 50" :: 2009

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The disintegration of inspiration is a slow process. It drips down my bones like syrup from the Aunt Jemima bottle. The trick is not letting it harden.

When the world around you seems to be falling apart, it is hard for one to find inspiration through the choking fog of despair. The pressure builds as deadlines loom, and things begin to crack. Bend but don't break. All eyes on me as expectations grow with each step up the staircase. The characters in life's play add to the drama, wearing masks, making it difficult to see what lies beneath.

But such is the nature of the space you occupy, and everything can be dealt with in stride. No one ever said success was easy. Juggling back and forth between design and art is taxing on an artist's creativity, and inspiration becomes a rare commodity.

You can't plan inspiration, it just happens. It's one of those funny things that never cooperates. I will never understand why sometimes I can visualize an entire composition on the way to get coffee, and yet at other times I sit and stare at blank canvas for hours. Then compound the problem with the challenges and struggles of everyday life...and you get a lethal mixture of inactivity and dissatisfaction.

Thoughts get stuck, and ideas get messy as the disintegration begins, and I can only wait. You can't force it; but you can prepare for the moment it comes.